Embarrassing that I did that "I'm back!" post ... and then didn't post for two months! Sorry about that.
Life with the boys is still crazy but good. They are now 4.5 months and they've changed so much just in the past week or two! Laughing, rolling from belly to back (and Gabe is close to rolling back to belly, too!), grabbing toys, putting them in their mouths, finding a USB cable on the floor next to the bouncy seat and putting THAT in the mouth (!) ... Guess it's time to baby-proof!
And I've been pondering how motherhood has affected my relationship with God.
Sadly, I think I've been sort of a foul-weather friend.
The first month or two were so challenging, and I was so overwhelmed, that I really drew close to God. I found myself praying a LOT--sometimes out loud, so the boys could hear me.
Since then, life has become a little more predictable, I'm able to squeeze in a quiet time most days ... but it's often cut short when babies wake from a nap sooner than I expect, or I remember I still need to wash bottles and mix up formula before the next feeding, or (confession time) I get carried away on Facebook or a message board and forget I'm supposed to be having devos! :( It's sad. I'm in one of those spiritually listless times, where I'm really going through the motions but not passionate about God. And no, our faith isn't all about what we feel, but I know something is wrong. My priorities are off. And I haven't gotten back on track yet. I'd appreciate your prayers for that ... and if you have any tips for sustaining your walk with God while adjusting to mommyhood (or other busy times when life and QT schedules are harder to predict), I would appreciate them!
Thanks for any of you who are still reading!
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3 comments:
Hey Faith,
Be easy on yourself. God knows you are up to your ears in motherhood. Maybe you won't devour chapters of His Word but even a few minutes with a paragraph or two goes a long way toward nourishing your soul. I love that you prayed out loud with your boys! Don't despair, you will be able to get back to your regular quiet times...in a few years. God has given you these little ones to love and to mold you and that growing process will take up the bulk of your time. As it should.
Kate
Four months is my FAVORITE age. Don't they get so fun!!! My next favorite age is 9 months. Still little, but starting to get around and get into things. 9 month olds are hysterical!
Girl, motherhood, I am sure you are learning, changes EVERYTHING. Including your relationship with the Lord. Don't beat yourself up over it. It will change tho. It's not bad, it's just different. The time for disciplined morning devos will come again - later.
For now, I have learned what it really means to pray without ceasing. You just talk to God all day long, usually in short one liners. Because often that is all you have time or brain power for. Just keep the lines constantly open, like your IM window is always open. Deep long chats with God - they happen about as often as deep long chats with your husband do these days. ;)
This is the season you are in, and it's okay.
Love, Mis
ps - email me some more pix of those babies :-)
Thought of you just now sweetness:) how have you been?
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